Planning to say goodbye

I had a talk with Mum tonight.  She went in to see Carole twice today.  The first time she said Carole looked terrible and was in very low spirits.  And the second time Carole was in better spirits.  Mum warned me that Carole's condition has deteriorated considerably since I saw her in January/

It is hard to think it is only a few weeks since I saw her and that she has gone downhill so fast.

I spoke with Carole the other day and she told me she feels God has let her down.  I didn't know what to say and am still struggling, but I think it isn't God that has failed her but poor actions by doctors.  She had been doing so well right up until October when the idiot doctor took her off the chemo and didn't schedule the surgery as they were supposed to.  I feel cheated out of time with her and want so much to have more time with her, but I know we aren't going to get a miracle.

I hope Rob is able to get some help so she can come home, even if for a short time.  Mum said Rob is realising that she may not be able to come home, and it is so sad that he can't take the dogs in to see her, as that would lift her spirits more and help the dogs deal with what is happening.  I checked and found that there isn't a hospice in Launceston, so that option is not open, and Mum said that the hospital cubicle Carole is in is terrible, so if we can find a way to bring her home, she would be happier, and she and Rob would be able to have more time together.

Mum had to ask Rob if Carole has a will.  What a sad thing to have to even think about.